Last evening, I was feeling a bit depressed, so I walked into a nearby church to get relief, not only from the cold, but also the season.

I strode, hesitantly, into the vestibule, and I was stopped by a kindly older gentleman, who told me that in order to enter the church, I would have to show him three items associated with Christmas.

With nothing but my tattered coat and empty pockets, I turned to walk away.

Then, I stopped.

I pulled out a sodden pack of matches and lit one. "A Christmas candle" , I said.

"That's one", the usher said.

I removed 87 cents in change, cupped it in my hand, and shook it, making a jingling noise. "Christmas bells", I said.

"That's two. Just one more."

I dug deep into my pockets, and felt something soft and silky. I pulled out a pair of panties. My face lit up as I waved them at the usher. "Carol's."