Sunday, December 27, 2009

Blame President Bush

We Wouldn't Want To Offend...
After all, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab is probably not even a Muslim. Indeed, it would be so damned offensive to members of the Religion of Peace if he had been stopped, searched, or prevented from flying. That is, if he is even a Muslim.

After all, if people were stopped based upon their names, then people like Mohammed Atta, Barack Hussein Obama, or Ziad Jarrah would have trouble flying. (Curiously, one of the three is not a Muslim; however, all three have had airplane incidents involving New York City.)

Israel regularly profiles travelers, and El Al is the safest airline in the world. American carriers do not, largely due to fears of lawsuits and of offending the people who are trying to kill us.
And, strangely, Mr. Abdulmutallab was on a Terror Watch List; but, was not subjected to any enhanced screening.

And, frankly, I can not help but think that if Mr. Abdulmutallab had waited just two hours more--until he arrived in Detroit--no one would have noticed (or cared) if he blew himself to bits.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas!

The Lifeguard Says...

Merry Christmas to you and yours.

May the peace and joy of this season bring you much happiness.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Put me down for a 12...

"Where Da White Women At?"
As someone who"dated" a number of Swedish women, I will say this in Tiger's defence. They are beautiful, sexy, and very desirable. Also, after a while, the accent becomes so annoying.

'Nuff said.

Saturday, December 05, 2009

The Horror...

Kill Them All, Let God (or Allah) Sort Them Out.

An adherent of the so-called Religion of Piece--as in piece of suicide bomber--has one more request for those 72 Virginians.

A man, dressed as a woman, blew himself to bits in the midst of a graduation ceremony in Mogadishu, Somalia, killing three government ministers, three journalists, and seventeen others. (And we want to let Muslim women have their driver's licence pictures taken in their modesty-preserving garb?)

First, it was the warlords, stealing food and terrorising the poor (read, "everyone in Somalia").

Then, it was the so-called Blackhawk Down incident, with the attendant embarrassment to the United States of America.

Next, it was the rampant piracy, originating in the coastal towns of this lawless country.

Now, we have Al-Shabab (who deny any involvement in this cowardly act) committing a cowardly act that killed future doctors, engineers, and other students. (Yeah, good move. Kill the people that will most likely help to improve the plight of their fellow countrymen.)

Honestly, we have reached a point--and not just in Somalia--where drastic measures are called for. This is not a law enforcement problem, this is an education problem. A religion problem. (Actually, a problem stemming from a religion that loathes education, especially when it includes women.)

The solution? Drain the swamp.

The Lifeguard knows that it is just not fashionable (or practical) to send a large force to every Third-World shithole that needs, well, a large force. So, rather than waste valuable human resources, we should make use of some of the wonderful toys that come from the Military Industrial Complex.

Predator Drones, Tomahawk Cruise Missiles, and other smart weapons are just the cure for what ails the world. And no worries about rules of engagement or collateral damage. (Hell, Somalia is a one big piece of collateral damage. A little more won't matter.) Of course, our Nobel Peace Prize-winning President, Barack Hussein Obama (who remains not a Muslim) has neither the will, nor the sack to light up Somalia.

Now, if The Lifeguard were in charge...

Sports Saturday...

Alabama Beats Florida. Tebow In Tears.
Alabama's Crimson Tide beat Florida's Gators in the SEC Championship, handing the Gators their first loss of the season. This was the most anticipated game of a rather mundane college football season.

Florida QB, and Heisman Trophy winner, Tim Tebow, was crying at the end of the game.

The Lifeguard could not have cared less.

Friday, December 04, 2009

Say What?

It's An Outrage! An Outrage!
President William Jefferson Clinton, America's first black president, sodomises a chubby intern, and it's no big deal. Just a little sex between the most powerful man in the world...and that woman.

Tiger Woods plays a few rounds away from his home course, and the world is turned upside down.