Sunday, January 31, 2010

HFWTFMF?!?

Colour Commentator?
The Lifeguard would have been called a racist had he said it. However, it's true, President Barack Hussein Obama (who continues to not be a Muslim) tried his hand at colour commentary during the Dook/Georgetown basketball game on January 30th.

Listening to the ramblings of the 44th president, it seemed that, absent a TelePromTer, the POTUS would suck just as much at doing colour for CBS as he does at running America.

Of course, he can't watch a full game, "...tun[ing] in and out...", so perhaps he could work with Joe Morgan, who doesn't watch baseball games.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

HFWTFMF?!?

Gilbert Arenas Plays For A Team That Used To Be Called The Bullets...

Well, he used to play for a team called the Bullets.

Monday, January 04, 2010

You Want Me On That Plane!

THE LIFEGUARD WAS TRAVELING FROM NIGERIA LAST WEEK...

As The Lifeguard walked through security, the only white guy in a sea of sweaty, smelly Third-Worlders, he heard those words that every good American (i.e., non-Muslim) hates to hear:

"Lifeguard, you have been selected for secondary screening. One finger or two?"