Bangor Man Doesn't (Bang Her)
So he smacks her with his penis.
Now, if The Lifeguard had wielded his...instrument, he'd have likely killed her.
Reminds me of the story of the man who comes home to find his wife furiously packing her suitcase.
"Where do you think you are going?" he asks.
"To Las Vegas," she says. "I have heard that in Las Vegas a woman can make $100,000.00 a year just by having sex.
So, her husband starts packing his suitcase.
"I'm coming with you," he says. "I have got to see how you're going to live on $50.00 a year."