Sunday, September 28, 2008

What the deuce?

The Bell Rings!

The candidates debated last Friday night. Senators McCain and Obama faced off in Oxford, Mississippi, to debate national security and the financial crisis; and, they did just that.

It was boring.

No name-calling. No lost tempers. No fireworks of any kind.

Some folks said that McCain won; and, others, that Obama won. No one really cared, though. Certainly not The Lifeguard, who is one bad-ass political junkie.

Both candidates staked out their middle ground, ignoring the reality of the 2008 election. In order to win, McCain and Obama need their base; and, with all of the love on that stage, no one got the red meat that they wanted.

Fortunately, Senator Biden and Governor Palin go toe-to-toe on October 2d. This will be the debate to watch for several reasons.

First, both Governor Palin and Senator Biden are far more qualified to be POTUS than either of the Presidential candidates.

Second, the Vice Presidential candidates are usually more free to go for the throat, which equals better theatre. I will not be surprised to see Senator Biden and Governor Palin duking it out, oratorially, when the formalities are out of the way. I expect at least some mean-spirited name-calling, with a dash of hyperbole thrown in for good measure.

Finally, since Governor Palin is viewed as just another pretty face; and, Senator Biden as an arrogant ass, they will be playing out of their heads, trying to show just how tough and smart they each are.

Let the games begin!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Isn't it funny?

I Was Watching Fox News This Morning...

and the chiron said something to the effect of, "Obama Up In Polls As Economy Falters."

I thought to myself, how tragic for America that in order to win the White House, the party out of power (be they Democrats or Republicans) has to hope (and pray) that things go bad in America.

It's hard to believe that the desire to sit in the big boy chair at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue can make a man (or woman) and a party take a massive dump on the country.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Thoreau would be pissed.

A Beautiful Fall Day In New England...
and a drive to Walden Pond, to commune with nature. Unfortunately, there is a five ($5.00) dollar tariff to park at Walden Pond. And, I hate to pay for parking. Anywhere.

So, I came home and settled in for the night, tuning my television to ESPN2 (The Dos) to watch my beloved Demon Deacons play the Florida State Seminoles, live from Doak Campbell Stadium. And, while I was happy that the Deacs forced seven (count 'em, seven) turnovers, won 12-3, and proved my point that Coach Bobby Bowden is about seven years past his coaching prime, I was as pissed about the announcers as I was about the parking situation at Walden effing Pond.

Bob Davie and Mark Jones, The Duo's crack announcing team, spent the better part of the game telling America just how swell Florida State's football team was. They fawned over Bobby Bowden, Mickey Andrews, and anyone else with a Florida State shirt (and a penis).

They talked about the great Seminole talents. The ones with made-up names like D'Vontrey (Richardson), Taiwan (Easterling), and Seddrick (Holloway). They talked about the coaches, and how Florida State was never out of the game. They did everything but blow Bobby Bowden. (Well, maybe after the game; but, not during.)

Now, if they had mentioned the other Florida State talent--the cheerleaders and the co-eds--I might have given them a pass; but...

Which reminds me of the time that I found myself at Florida State, doing some research in the FSU Law Library. It got late, I went for dinner and a beer at a local establishment, and ended up pulling an all-nighter with a FSU student named Alison (who was really worried about me driving after a few drinks, and thought that I would be a lot safer in her bed).

But, hey, the Deacs won. And Alison? She's just a fond memory.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Take me out to the ballgame...

Sox Win 4-3!
I was at Fenway Park on Sunday afternoon. The Toronto Blue Jays were in town; and, this was the final game of the series. As an additional bonus, I was privileged to attend the game with my friends, D and D, who had surprised their dad with a trip to Boston and a ballgame at Fenway Park.

I woke to pelting rain and grey skies; and, there was some concern (on my friends' part) that there might well be a lengthy delay (or postponement). But, we kept our fingers crossed; and, by game time, the skies had cleared, the rain had stopped, and the battle between Boston's Jon Lester and Toronto's Roy Halladay (pitching on three days' rest) began in earnest.

It was a great game, in spite of a quick score by Toronto in the top of the first. Boston answered in the bottom of the first and second, and the 2-1 margin held for most of the game.

We also watched, with eager anticipation, the Green Monster scoreboard, tracking the progress of the Yankees v. Rays game.

As always, Fenway was the draw. The perfect venue for the perfect game, baseball. The Lifeguard enjoyed the game, the fans, the food, and the chance to share such a momentous event--a maiden trip to Fenway--with good friends.

And, with that win (and the Rays' loss to the Yankees), the Sox pulled to within one game of the Tampa Bay Rays.

The hunt for the 2008 pennant continues.


Thursday, September 11, 2008

The Lifeguard Remembers

Never Ever Forget...

On September 11, 2008, The Lifeguard offers his thoughts and prayers for those who lost loved ones in the 2001 attacks on the World Trade Centers, The Pentagon, and in that field in Shanksville, Pennsylvania.

Turning Chicken Salad Into Chicken S***!

The Mendacity of the Dope: The Legend Continues

The legend of Senator Barack Hussein Obama's oratory continues! Making use of his rhetorical skills, he made a perfectly innocent line--"If you put lipstick on a pig, it's still a pig"--the source of 456,000 hits (and, presumably, counting) on Google.

This was always my knock on Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton's style of speaking (except, where Candidate Obama is halting and nuanced in his delivery, Senator Clinton was shrill and annoying). By virtue of his efforts to speak carefully, he appears to be...well...stupid. Even on the teleprompter, Candidate Obama struggles to make me think he actually believes what he is saying. Off the idiot board, he simply struggles to string together a coherent thought.

As far as I am concerned, this was just another rhetorical flourish (albeit a poorly delivered one).

He need not apologise to Candidates McCain, Palin, or the distaff population of America.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

There is a difference...

The Glosta Girls Give A Shout Out To Bristol Palin!

The difference between Bristol Palin (and the Republicans) and that " unwed teenager from the inner city..." (and the Democrats) is not latent racism, or hypocrisy, or a double standard.

The difference is that Bristol Palin has a loving family that supports her (not a welfare check). Also, she knows the father of her child (unlike many young girls that play Russian Roulette with a loaded cock); and, she is going to marry him and finish high school.

The difference is that the black unwed teenager from the inner city will probably remain unwed, will probably have more children, and will probably not get an education.

Republicans--generally speaking--love the sinner (but hate the sin). Her family (and the Republican Party) understand that kids have sex, and that sex (often) leads to pregnancy. They also understand the following:

a) Men hate to wear condoms;
b) Not wearing a condom during sex greatly increases the risk of pregnancy;
c) Abstinence (i.e., avoiding sex) decreases the risk of pregnancy; because,
d) Men hate to wear condoms.

Should Bristol Palin have been more careful? Yes.

But, maybe some good will come of this. Maybe some girls will see that there is some public humiliation to getting pregnant. Maybe some boys will see that they have to take responsibility for their actions. And, maybe, everyone will just leave Bristol Palin alone.

You'd better Google that.

I'm Pretty Sure It's K-a-t-h-a-r-i-n-e."

I was talking to the Hot Independent Girl (Named Kathryn), and we were discussing politics. Ultimately, the discussion turned to the spelling of her name.

I told her that I had a cousin who spelled her name the same way: Kathryn.

She told me that she was named for Kathryn [sic] Hepburn.

Me: "I think that she spelled it Katharine."

HIGNK [indignantly]: "I'm named for her. I should know how she spells it."

It's official!

The Lifeguard Likes!
An eternity ago, before the Republican National Convention began, then-presumptive nominee, Senator John Sidney McCain, III (R-AZ), selected a little-known governor to be his running mate. The fact that she was from Alaska, a conservative, and an (attractive) woman made her all of the more stellar as a choice.

You see, Governor Palin brings a lot to the table. She is a governor (and, former mayor), so she has more executive branch experience than the other three candidates combined. (Well, Senator Obama was the president of the Harvard Law Review. He was also a community organiser, so I guess the whole "experience thing" is off of the table.) As governor, she is the commander-in-chief of the Alaska National Guard, the group (in large part) responsible for security on the Alaska Pipeline. Her son is in the military. She is plain-spoken, looks good in a skirt, and can bullseye a womp rat from her T-16 Skyspeeder.

She had the good sense to thank Geraldine Ferraro and Senator Hillary Clinton for their work in breaking down the so-called glass ceiling; and, she has demonstrated--thus far--that a woman can be feminine and powerful. Indeed, as I was saying to someone the other day (in response to a question about why the left doesn't like Governor Palin), "She is not someone a feminist can relate to, easily. She hunts, she fishes, and she doesn't look"

In much the same way that many Democrats label Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice a " house nigga"; or, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas an "Uncle Tom", women hating the choice of Governor Palin is not surprising. They don't see themselves as strong-willed, hockey-playing, M.16 shooting, dress-wearing, successful women. They support abortion, gun control, and a ban on offshore drilling. Since Governor Palin thinks differently, they discount her--immediately--as a cynical and unqualified choice to be Candidate McCain's second. [Frankly, if I were in a duel with Senator Obama, I would want Governor Palin to be my second. I am pretty sure that she could kick Senator Biden's ass.]

And while I am not a big fan of Senator McCain, his choice of Governor Palin gives me a reason to vote for him. She is strong on energy policy, and understands that ANWR is a wasteland that should be explored. Her husband is an oil man, and a member of the United Steelworkers Union. It is likely that she understands that more exploration and drilling means more high-paying union jobs here in America. It means jobs in Alaska, in the South, and the Far West. It means mining coal in Pennsylvania and West Virginia (and the highly-paid but dangerous jobs that accompany mining). Finally, her support of domestic energy production means more refineries, pipelines, and nuclear (and other) power plants. In short, good jobs with good wages.

In fact, if the McCain/Palin ticket were smart, this is the only thing that they would be talking about for the next seven weeks. Jobs, jobs, jobs.*

Which brings me to my encounter last Thursday night:

Hot Independent Girl (named Kathryn): "The choice of Sarah Palin pushed me into the Obama camp.

Me: "Huh?"

HIGNK: "She is just too inexperienced to be President of the United States."

Me: "Huh? She is a governor, has been a mayor. In short, she has the executive experience that no one else--on either ticket--has."

HIGNK: "Well, I figure that neither a 72 year old nor a black man will make it through four years in office, so I want a Vice President who is ready to step into the Oval Office and lead this country. I think Biden is a better choice."

Now, that's cynical.

*The Lifeguard is available as a political consultant to the Republican National Committee (or, the Democrats, for that matter), as long as the money is right.