Wednesday, July 30, 2008

This is serious...

This weekend, the men and women of the Menage A Trois, the most notorious sailboat in Marblehead Harbour, will take their show on the road, to the American Yacht Club, to participate in the Leukemia Cup Regatta, to benefit the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

Our plan is to think fat and to sail fast.

Please consider a donation to this wonderful cause.

Click here.

(That's it, move the cursor, click the button on the mouse, then donate some scratch.)

You can then check this blawg for race results and pictures of the mayhem.

I note that, aside from my volunteer work with teenage mothers (helping them get their start), I shy away from asking anyone to donate anything to anybody.

But this, do it for the kids.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Good News!

The Mendacity Of The Dope

Illinois Senator (and presumptive Democrat Presidential Nominee) Barack (or is it Baruch?) Hussein Obama has taken us on a wild ride. One that began with William Ayers and Tony Rezko and ended with his pronouncements that we will all recall the day that "...the rise of the oceans began to slow...."

In other words, we have met the Messiah and he is Obama.

What troubles me, however, is that the good senator is little more than a well-educated, well-funded charlatan. But, because he is African-American (really, his father was African, so I don't mind calling him an African-American), we can not question him about his votes in the Illinois State Senate (the nearly 130 times he voted "present" rather than "aye" or "nay"); what it really says on his birth certificate; whether his wife is fair game (since she has insinuated herself into the public eye in a way that few other putative First Ladies have); or, the Reverend Jeremiah Wright.

No wonder the Reverend Jackson wants to "...cut his nuts off."

Saturday, July 12, 2008


I Am Puzzled...

I umpired a baseball game last night, and the venue was a New England minor league stadium. As I walked to the umpires' dressing room, I paused, and asked out loud...

"Why is the sign in English and braille?"

Friday, July 04, 2008

America Runs On Dunkin's?

America Is Screwed!

I have stopped at my neighbourhood Dunkin' Donuts the last three mornings, and ordered my usual: black coffee (or, what Dunkin' Donuts calls coffee), with no sugar.

Unfortunately (for me), Team Brazil FUBARed my order...three days in a row.

Apparently, in Brazil, "black coffee, no sugar" means...something other than black coffee with no sugar.

But, yesterday, I was still at the window, and I checked my order before pulling away from drive-through.

Me: "Hey, Pedro! What does black coffee mean in your country?"

Hector [Looking at me as if he doesn't understand English.]: "Eh?"

Me: "Black coffee. No cream, no sugar, no spit. Just BLACK effing coffee!"

Manager [Hearing me and walking to the window.] "What's the problem?"

Me: "This is not what I ordered."

Manager [Looking at the order screen.]: "Yes, it...oh,, it isn't."

Manager [To Hector]: "Boppity boopity bap. Bappity bippidy boop."

Hector [Handing me my black coffee.]: "Ehsorry, sir, ees black."

Again, I ask the same question: How, in the name of all that is holy, can you screw up a black coffee? Anyone? Anyone?

Will someone please tell me how to order a black coffee in Portuguese.

Oh, and for those of you wondering about what the picture of Rachel Ray (with thanks to FHM) has to do with coffee, please recall that she is the spokeswoman for Dunkin' Donuts. And, she is a visual metaphor (to me) for Dunkin' Donuts coffee. I find her hot and inviting; but, when I get into her (metaphorically speaking), she is just annoyingly unsatisfying. Maybe, a ball gag (which is, again, a metaphor for coffee) would help.