Tuesday, September 24, 2013


Country Singer Gretchen Wilson Talks About The Lifeguard
Over and over again.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013


The Lifeguard Observes A Moment Of Silence For Those Who Lost Their Lives At The Hands Of The Terrorists Twelve Short Years Ago.

Thursday, September 05, 2013

He got one thing correct.

"The Lifeguard Is Huge."
Then, Secretary of State Kerry said, "Respect."


Vladimir Putin Shakes Hands With Michelle Obama Prior To The G-20 Summit
After a short hiatus, The Lifeguard returns with the most poignant commentary on life, politics, and just about anything else.  You guessed it.  It's Speedos!

  • President Obama, who drew a (red) line in the sand over Syria's alleged use of chemical weapons, spoke yesterday to his unequivocal statement.  He said, “That wasn’t something I made up. I didn’t pluck it out of thin air. I didn’t set a red line. The world set a red line.”
  • For fucks sake, if GWB had said, “We have been very clear to the Assad regime, but also to other players on the ground, that a red line for us is we start seeing a whole bunch of chemical weapons moving around or being utilized,” and then said, "That wasn't something I made up," the media would have jumped his shit.
  • Maybe Syria hasn't used "...a whole bunch of chemical weapons...."  They have just used a bunch of chemical weapons, not whole bunch of chemical weapons.
  • Is there even any proof that the Syrian government has used chemical weapons?  And, what makes Syria different from...say...Iraq.  The Democrats blanched at the thought of going to war against Saddam Hussein, a man who had violated seventeen UN Resolutions, used chemical weapons against Kurds and Iranians, and ran rape-rooms and torture chambers; but, Bashar al-Assad is alleged to have used chemical weapons and President Obama becomes John Wayne.
  • Wait!  Saddam Hussein was a lawyer.  There are a lot of Democrat legislators (including President Obama) who are lawyers.  Maybe that was professional courtesy?
  • James Carville used the oft-repeated ObamaExcuse, "It's W's fault."
  • Secretary of State, John Forbes Kerry, is for war in Syria, after he was against it.  And, Code Pink as very, very unhappy about it.  But, then again, this is an easier call than...say...Viet Nam.  After all, one would never catch the Syrian rebels hiding out among civilians, or dressed in black pajamas.  Nope, the Syrian rebels wear uniforms, and adhere to all of the rules of war.
  • One wonders if the guy who shot (no pun intended) the video of the summary execution of Syrian soldiers is going to be arrested and thrown in jail for violating the terms of his probation.  Wait!  That's another guy.
  • President Obama killed Usama bin Laden.  Why doesn't he just go ahead and whack Assad?  Why all the debate?  One would think that a former lecturer on Constitutional Law, at one of America's premier law schools, would understand that he has the Constitutional authority to act without passing the buck to Congress.
  • God, how The Lifeguard misses President Reagan.  (Or Bush.  Or Clinton.  Or Bush.)
  • The Lifeguard is pretty sure that President Clinton would have launched an air strike on Syria (and gotten a blow job at the same time).  Obama?  The Lifeguard is pretty sure that the Preezy of the Heezy is 0-2.
Yep, this is a mighty disjointed rant on Syria; but, sometimes, that shit happens.  The bottom line, my friends, is that The Lifeguard is adamantly opposed to any involvement in Syria.