Tuesday, December 19, 2006

















BBW Seeking Man For LTR And More...

Me: Single woman, height and weight proportional. I am curvy, and know what I want in a man. If you are looking for a FWB/F-Buddy, then you have come to the wrong place, buster. I like the relationship to age and develop, like a fine cheese, before I get into bed with someone. If you are the one I choose, then you won't be disappointed.

You: Must be at least 6 feet tall, because I like to wear heels when I go out at night. Must not weigh more than 178 pounds, and must work out constantly. I like my men to be in shape so that they can keep up with me in the bedroom. I am very sexual and giving, and I like to be on top. You must never have been married, be between the ages of 18 and 24, and be hung. No job, no kids, no baggage. I don't need it. Oh, and no picture, no response.

Height and weight proportional? Yeah, I guess five feet tall and five feet wide is proportional.

Really, how in the name of all that is holy does this happen? What makes a woman (or man) hate themselves so much as to do this to their body. And what about that poor folding chair? Oh, the humanity.

This person does not need a nasal spray to fight her obesity, she needs to stop eating, maybe go for a walk (someplace other than back and forth to the salad bar or the refrigerator). Oh, and food choices. Really, one must take in about 6,000 net calories a day to reach this point. It doesn't just happen. Wake up and eat, eat, eat. Walk to the toilet, then to the kitchen for a snack. Back to the living room to sit on the couch and relax before waddling to the K-Mart stretch pants that are sodden with doughnut sugar and milkshake dribble. Back to the couch, more snacks, then take a nap. Wake up, more snacks, then, it's 10:00am, time for more snacks.

At some point, it becomes too hard to get out of bed. The next thing you know, George Lucas is calling because he is casting for a Jabba the Hutt retrospective.

Here is a hint for you, shitwad: Lose weight, don't eat, maybe take a walk. You will feel better, and you just might find a man.

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