Sunday, February 03, 2008

Cate Edwards' Father Is Suspending His Campaign...

Frankly, listening to her father's populist twaddle was giving me a headache. And, I didn't think for a minute that the Democrat Party would let a guy who was part of the losing team get another shot at the big boy chair.

So, he suspended his campaign (so that he could keep on receiving those federal matching funds?); and, according to some reports, will negotiate for a position in either an Obama or Clinton Administration.

And now, there are two.

With Super Tuesday just two days away, Senators Obama (the half-black candidate) and Clinton (the half-man candidate) will fire broadsides into each other like a couple of ships of the line.

"Too soft on terror." [Blam!] (Not a chance on this one.)

"Too hard on illegal immigrants." [Blam!]

"Too much illegal money from the Peoples Republic of China." [Blam!] (Not a chance on this one, either.)

"Too complimentary of Republicans." [Blam!]

"He was a part of the Keating Five." [Blam!] (Wait, they are saving that for Senator McCain, in the general election.)

The problem, however, is that the Democrats award delegates proportionately; and, the battle will rage, probably, right up until the unelected Super Delegates vote (for Hillary!, probably).

But, it is sure to be interesting. (Unlike the last Democrat debate, which was a snoozefest, with neither candidate wanting to take a position that might offend one of their inbred little voting blocs.)

"A question for Hillary! How will your administration stop retarded female would-be suicide bombers?"

[Shrieking] "A Clinton Administration will not do anything to prevent a woman, even a retarded woman, from achieving the goals that, until now were jobs just for men. Or, to keep her out of Paradise, where she should also be entitled to 72 Virginians. That is why I am different from the Republicans, who not only want to stop her from being a suicide bomber; but, to deny her health care when she blows herself to bits."

Aw, hell, just give me more Cate Edwards (who I know is a Democrat, because no one has ever heard of a woman being called a "piece of elephant.")


dawne said...

Very clever. It took me awhile but I finally got it.

The Lifeguard said...

That whole post was written for the purpose of getting in the joke at the end.