"Oh, About This Big."
Senator Putzhead (D-NY), was asked about The Lifeguard's most recent visit to the Senate steam room.
"I was walking past, on Ladies Day, and I heard someone gasp," Putzhead said.
Schumer remarked, "I thought someone was dying, so I opened the door and looked through the steam. I walked in, and...you know. Wow! The damn thing could have put my eye out. And, the ladies, they thought I was looking at them; but, I wasn't." (If you've seen Senators Snow and Collins lately, you know what Ol' Putzhead is talking about. And Senator Stabenow? Yikes!)
"The Lifeguard is magnificent," the senator said.
"Now, if only I can figure out a way to tax it," commented Schumer. "It's not fair to the other 99.99%."