Friday, May 18, 2012


The Lifeguard offers another installment of the most anticipated commentary on life, politics, sex, drugs, rock and roll, and sex.  Speedos!

  • Eduardo Saverin (of Facebook fame) relinquished his American citizenship in September, 2011, becoming a citizen of Singapore.  A few days later, the plans for the Facebook IPO became public, and it became obvious that Ed had flown the coop to avoid about $67 million in taxes.  And, while The Lifeguard thinks that Ed is an ungrateful douche, The Lifeguard says, "Good on ya, mate!"  (The Lifeguard also hopes that Ed gets caught tagging a building.)
  • That having been said,  The Lifeguard thinks that Senator Putzhead's EX-PATRIOT Act legislation might just be a Bill of Attainder.  Of course, The Lifeguard does realise that the constitutional whizzes in our government might have missed their law school class on that day.
  • President Obama's relatives (pictured above) line up for their driving tests at the Massachusetts RMV office (just outside Nairobi).
  • When The Lifeguard was running the Boston Marathon, he saw an awful lot of T-Shirts emblazoned with the flag of President Obama's homeland.  (Which is, of course, America.)
  • The news of President Barack Hussein Obama (who is still neither Muslim nor Kenyan) having been described as "...born in Kenya..." (by his literary agent) is troubling to The Lifeguard (for many reasons).  First, it shows that President Obama is either corrupt (for lying to sell a story) or stupid (for not catching his agent's gaffe).  Second, it demonstrates the depth of the mainstream media's hatred for President Bush The Younger.  (How did the media miss--or hide--this shit, and why?)  And, finally, how did President Obama ever get a teaching position at the University of Chicago Law School?  (Don't answer that.  It's a rhetorical question.)
  • As a Senior Lecturer at the University of Chicago, President Obama taught two more courses a year than US Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren teaches at Harvard Law School.
  • The Lifeguard was talking to a Canadian friend, who related a story about a conversation with an American who asked, "What's a 'Canada'?"  (Answer:  A hat, worn by an 'America.')
  • California Governor, Jerry Brown, is salivating over the Facebook IPO.  All of those new millionaires equal scads of additional tax revenue for his near-bankrupt state.  Money which will, no doubt, go straight down some Sacramento rat hole.
  • It seems that The Lifeguard was correct in his assessment of the Trayvon Martin shooting.  Not only did The Lifeguard suggest that Martin was the aggressor, he also suggested that Martin may have been jonesin' for some Skittles.
That's all for now, friends.

Have a great day.

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