Astounding!
Another winter storm, more griping and complaining about the weather.
Not only was there a run on the supermarket following the news of the impending storm, there was a complete over-reaction by the store's patrons as they stripped the shelves bare, carting away milk, bread and other treats. It so much more indicative of the Zombie Apocalypse than 6" of snow as to be funny.
The Lifeguard reminds these folks, surprised at the falling snow, to breathe, look at a map (see where New England is in relation to, say, Florida), then slap yourself silly. (The Lifeguard would do it, but he can't get to everyone.)
Every time there is a storm, The Lifeguard imagines the orgy where all of these dopes had their brains fucked out. (There can be no other explanation for the snow-fueled panic in the stores and on the roads.)
As for school--which was canceled over much of the Boston area--The Lifeguard wonders how kids will adapt to the working world if school is canceled every time someone says the word "snow."
The Lifeguard never got a snow day. (Of course, The Lifeguard spent much of his youth in Florida; but, still....)
Not only was there a run on the supermarket following the news of the impending storm, there was a complete over-reaction by the store's patrons as they stripped the shelves bare, carting away milk, bread and other treats. It so much more indicative of the Zombie Apocalypse than 6" of snow as to be funny.
The Lifeguard reminds these folks, surprised at the falling snow, to breathe, look at a map (see where New England is in relation to, say, Florida), then slap yourself silly. (The Lifeguard would do it, but he can't get to everyone.)
Every time there is a storm, The Lifeguard imagines the orgy where all of these dopes had their brains fucked out. (There can be no other explanation for the snow-fueled panic in the stores and on the roads.)
As for school--which was canceled over much of the Boston area--The Lifeguard wonders how kids will adapt to the working world if school is canceled every time someone says the word "snow."
The Lifeguard never got a snow day. (Of course, The Lifeguard spent much of his youth in Florida; but, still....)
1 comment:
Face it, Lifeguard.
You're a crank. I'm pretty sure we can reverse the intractable middle-aging process, but we have to start now.
I prescribe sledding.
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