Thursday, August 16, 2012


The Exit For The Road To Happiness
You guessed it!  It's the post-London 2012 edition of Speedos!

  • Vice President Joe Biden offended Republicans when he said that the Ryan-Romney ticket would put (black) people back in chains.  But, since the Democrats can't be racists, there is no way that Biden's use of a chains reference--to a predominately black audience--does anything to inflame racial sentiments.  Neither does Hillary!'s comment about Ghandi running a gas station in St. Louis.  Or, the Preezy of the Heezy's comment that his grandmother was a typical white person.  Or that Senator Harry Reid was impressed by the "...light-skinned Obama's lack of a 'Negro Dialect.'" 
  • So, why do people go bat-shit when any Republican mentions a "tar baby"?  Or, when anyone uses the word niggardly?
  • Maybe Biden was trying to say that the Republican plan for handling the black unemployment crisis was to put black people back in chains.
  • Saudi Arabia is building a women-only city, where 5,000 women can work freely, out of the sight of gawking men.  The Saudis claim that this will solve the underemployment problem faced by their highly-educated female population.  The Lifeguard thinks that this will further marginalize women in the Islamic world.
  • Republican presidential candidate, Mitt Romney, selected Congressman Paul Ryan (R-WI) as his running mate.  Immediately, the Democrat machine began smearing Ryan for his evil plans to throw granny over the cliff, to make the rich richer, and to destroy America as we know it. 
  • The Lifeguard thinks that pushing a grandma (or two million) over the cliff could save Social Security, Medicare, and the pension funds of several large cities.
  • Maybe the Social Security Administration's purchase of 174,000 bullets gives us some insight on the Obama Administration's plan to save Social Security.
The Lifeguard knows that this is a little too brief, but he's got shit to do.

More later, y'all.

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