Lolo Say, "Lifeguard, Okay!"
The London Olympic athletes will receive a fistful of Durex condoms, the better to protect them from the...um...wetness in dreary old England.
In fact, the more than 10,000 athletes will receive 15 condoms apiece (which is a day's supply for The Lifeguard or Sandra Fluke), with Durex ready to crank out some more if the athletes need them.
Not only are the Olympic games a chance to perform on the world stage, they offer a chance for some physically fit folks to fuck like horny wolverines. Indeed, The Lifeguard has received invites from Olympic virgin, Lolo Jones, the Swedish women's soccer team, and this Bulgarian called Izabela. (The Lifeguard assumes that Izabela was a weightlifter, since she mentioned something about giving The Lifeguard "three attempts at the snatch.") They all want The Lifeguard.
The only problem, with less than a week until the games begin, seems to be getting Durex to ramp up condom production to cover The Lifeguard's needs.