Get Out The Vote
The First Lady (you know, the one with the ridiculously toned arms) spoke to supporters in Miami, Florida yesterday. She implored them to find unregistered voters and "shake 'em."
Said Mrs. Obama, "It doesn't matter if they are freaks, felons, or frauds, my husband needs 'em!"
In other news, the US Department of Justice continues to impede Florida's attempts to purge voter rolls, and to keep other states from requiring photo identification when voting.
Not that The Lifeguard thinks that the Obama plan is to perpetuate a massive instance of voter fraud on the country.