Monday, July 02, 2012


He's Back!
And now, Speedos!

  • The Lifeguard continues to train for the 2012 Olympics.  (Practicing the breast stroke is demanding, and requires a ridiculously large number of training partners.  Please contact The Lifeguard if you are interested in helping him train.)
  • The real story of last week was not the ruling on ObamaCare, but the decision in United States v. Alvarez, 567 US __ (2012).  The Court held, 6-3 that the so-called "Stolen Valor Act" (which makes it a crime to falsely claim receipt of military decorations or medals) is unconstitutional as it violated respondents rights under the First Amendment.  The Lifeguard noted that no one talked to Senator Richard Blumenthal (D-CT)
  • If, however, it is okay to lie about your military service, then it must also be okay to lie about your health care plan.  
  • In the Affordable Care Act case, Chief Justice John Roberts managed to offend everyone by writing the majority decision in National Federation of Independent Businesses v. Sebelius, 567 US __ (2012).  In this 1-4-4 decision, Chief Justice Roberts reigns in Congress's power under the Commerce Clause (as well as the Necessary and Proper Clause and the General Welfare Clause), calls a spade a spade (i.e., "a tax a tax"), and pisses off Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.  It's a veritable trifecta for The Lifeguard.  (The Lifeguard gives respect to Bradley Joondeph, Professor of Law at Santa Clara University.  While I don't necessarily agree that this was the Marbury of our time, I do appreciate the significance of the Chief Justice's legal reasoning.)
  • Even more significant, the Chief Justice's statement that it is not the Court's responsibility to make political decisions.  To put it more plainly, if you don't like crap like the ACA (and it's ricockulously huge tax increase), then vote the bums out of office in November.
  • The Lifeguard has always maintained that Election Day is the day that we hold our elected representatives accountable for all of their lies and bullshit.  (Sadly, we do not avail ourselves of this opportunity as often as we should.)
  • The Lifeguard came pretty damn close on his prediction regarding the vote whether to hold AG Eric "I'm A Douchebag" Holder in Contempt of Congress.  Like, within the "margin of error" close.  
  • People who drink 3+ cups of coffee a day have a lower risk of a common skin cancer, says a Brigham and Women's Hospital study.  The Lifeguard is on his way to Starbuck's for a venti bold black (with no room for cream).
  • Oh, and a special thanks to this guy for the above picture.
Ciao, baby!

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