Friday, May 18, 2007

Massachusetts Does It Again

In an attempt to become an even bigger butt of jokes than it already is, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts is considering a law that makes discrimination against short, fat, or short and fat people, unlawful. Seriously, the Massachusetts General Court is giving this some thought.,CST-NWS-size18.article

Indeed, they are just looking at extending the same protection to the general public that they provide to Senator-For-Life Edward M. Kennedy (fat) and to former Senate President (and brother to fugitive, James "Whitey" Bulger) William "Billy" Bulger (Corrupt Midget).

Got a joke about a short person? Don't tell it. Making fun of the fat girl at a party? You are going to pay. Seated next to a half-tonner on Delta? Don't complain (especially if he also is bearded, and prays five times a day). See someone who is short, fat, Hispanic, illegal, Jewish and gay? Don't even say a word, just pull out your checkbook.

Harvard may start giving scholarships to short, fat high school seniors. Businesses will only hire fat people (for fear of being seen as discriminatory).

This is absolutely (fat) assinine.

Height? That is something one can not control; and, I seriously doubt that there is much real (or perceived) discrimination against short people (since they seem to compensate in other ways, like being out-going, or driving a Porsche). Weight? That is something within your control. Don't eat the fifth Big Mac. Don't eat the box of Twinkies. Take a walk. Not only is obesity a problem (as evidenced by the bans on trans-fats, sweets and sodas in school vending machines, and the renewed interest in physical activity), it has huge costs to the already over-burdened health care system.

Now, the Boneheads of Beacon Hill are contemplating institutional protection of something that they consider to be a major health problem. Sort of like arresting illegal immigrants, then failing to deport their law-breaking asses.

And, it is not like there is any sanity in the Corner Office. Democrat Governor Deval Patrick has to sign a bill granting these protections, because his veto is worthless. As worthless as his Republican predecessor.

If anyone is interested, the Lifeguard has a weight loss tape, available for $20.00, sent via PayPal. It is a roll of duct tape, to close your cake hole, and to provide a little support to your sorry fat ass.

I am reminded, in closing, of a high school friend who was attending medical school, and said, in reference to a patient--weighing close to 200Kg--that claimed a "glandular problem" that the gland in question was "...on her face, between her chin and nose."

So, thank you Massachusetts, for making Mississippi look good.


Dawne said...


Anonymous said...

hey, glandular problems can cause weight gain. you ought to know that, mofotardwit!