Sunday, May 13, 2007

Extra! Extra!

I was in Dunkin' Donuts the other morning, ordering my black coffee, when the gent in the adjacent line ordered coffee, "Extra extra." Eight sugars and six creams (and one heart attack) later, the chap left, all smiles.

Now, don't get me wrong, I believe in freedom of choice, but Dunkin' Donuts coffee is only marginally stronger than a cup of hot water that had a brown crayon dunked in it to begin with. Make it a "regular" (one cream, two sugars), then an "extra extra" (six more creams, eight more sugars), you might as well go straight to the cow and suck on the teat. It's no longer coffee, it's milk and sugar and hot water (with a brown crayon dunked in it).

I have bitched before about ordering black coffee and being asked if I "want room for cream." I have bitched about how long it takes for the undocumented workers at Dunkin' Donuts to prepare a black coffee. And now, I am bitching about how people drink their coffee.

Just for esses and gees.

Honest to God, we wonder why America is obese, when we drink pure sugar, eat Twinkies, and sit on our fat asses, playing X-Box and watching Oprah.

Drink your coffee black, damnit. Or, as my father used to say, "Coffee black, women white." (But, what did he know about women?)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

red wine, black boats, white women.

Rob said...

Natch.

Anonymous said...

obvi