Final Countdown...

Dumb and Dumber

Thursday can't get here soon enough.

SCOTUS will issue their decision on ObamaCare (which is a gross Obamanation), and the House will vote to hold Attorney General Holder in contempt of Congress.  (The Lifeguard wonders why we can't hold Congress in contempt of us, but that's a question for another day.  November 6, to be exact.)

The Lifeguard predicts that it's gonna be a good day.  

SCOTUS strikes down ObamaCare, 6-3.

Holder gets spanked, 251-184.

(But don't hold The Lifeguard to that.)

Biden Confirms It.

The Veep Can't Stop Talking About The Lifeguard

Vice President Biden appeared Friday, at a campaign fundraiser.  As he began his remarks, he said, "Look, I am absolutely bugfuck crazy, and I am going to make some pretty outrageous comments about Governor Romney.  The one kernel of truth, however, is that The Lifeguard is about this big."

Bi-winning!

Vatican Assassin Warlocks!

Witches and warlocks united to save Charlie Sheen from himself, casting spells intended to turn his life around and save him from "...bangin' seven gram rocks..." and porn stars.

The Lifeguard had hoped for something a little more sinister, like voodoo dolls and animal sacrifices. (The Lifeguard assumes that these are good witches and warlocks?) And, if there are any virgins who are afraid of falling victim to some sort of crazed human sacrifice, please feel free to ring The Lifeguard.

Converting virgins is just another way that The Lifeguard saves.

Boom!