Monday, February 27, 2012


The Lifeguard Skis!
The Lifeguard took off for a much-needed holiday, tearing up the slopes at a New Hampshire resort.  As good as the conditions were, The Lifeguard states, unequivocally, "It ain't Utah."

Still, The Lifeguard had a great time, unplugged from the outside world.  But, a lot has happened, and it seems appropriate to comment on those happenings right here.

  • A silent film won the Academy Award for Best Picture.  Why wasn't the acceptance speech done with subtitles?
  • Former Senator Rick Santorum (Loser-PA) blew up in the last Republican debate when he said that he voted for No Child Left Behind (which, ironically, was written with help from the late Senator Ted Kennedy) because he was taking one for the team.  Now, he has gone on the attack, trying to convince voters that he can win as a conservative.  The Lifeguard wonders how this can be, when he couldn't win, as a conservative incumbent, in Pennsylvania.
  • Occupy Denver protesters threw urine bombs at Denver police.  What kind of unwashed morons do this kind of thing?  Why don't the police clear them out of their encampment?  Could it have something to do with the fact that the Denver Police Union likes the fact that their members get all sorts of overtime for monitoring the behaviour of the protesters?  (The Lifeguard notes that the Boston Police didn't seem to mind standing around the Occupy Boston camp.  And, they got $1.4 million in overtime for doing it.)
  • Why do skiing New Yorkers have to act like...well, New Yorkers?  The Lifeguard was nearly run over by clueless skiers bombing down the hill with reckless abandon.  The worst part?  New Yorkers skiing out of control tend to sport the latest and greatest helmets, which make them all the more deadly as they career down the mountain.  And, while The Lifeguard is not a fan of wearing a helmet when skiing, he thinks that it might be better if they were required attire.  [Note to presidential candidates:  American helmet manufacturers could profit.  As long as they aren't designed by the same guy who designed the Chevy Volt.]
That's all for now.

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