Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Lawdy no, Missus Clinton...

Only In America...

could a person--in this case, Hillary!--have the hubris to ask the front-runner in the quest for the Democrat nomination to be her Vice President. To be on her dream ticket.

Granted, Hillary! is probably better qualified to be the Commander In Chief, even if it is by virtue of the fact that she once had sex with a President. Of course, by that calculus, Monica Lewinsky is a close second in the ranks of qualified Democrats.

And why, in the name of all that is holy, is it wrong to...um...call a spade a spade.

There are only two reasons that Senator B. Hussein Obama is even in the race.

One, has to do with the fact that he is a cipher. No legislative history. No notable success as a lawyer. No jobs other than those where John Q. Public's tax dollars pay his salary.

Granted, he is a cipher with a smooth manner, rock star bearing, and savvy political advisers; but, he is less qualified to be POTUS than just about any actor who has played one on the big screen.

This is an advantage because he can speak in platitudes.

"Together we can."

"We worship an awesome God in the Blue States."

He can co-opt the speeches of other people--like Governor DeVal Patrick (D-Just Like Barack)--and no one will care. Because he has no substance, he can blend in with his surroundings, and no one will know. No one will care. No one has anything on him.

For a society with so much information at our fingertips, we are so foolish to think that a trip to grandma's grass hut, in Kenya, counts as foreign policy experience. Or, to think that a trip to a conference in Geneva equates to diplomacy. Or, that five years in a stinking shit-hole of a prison, in a Third World country* equals competency in dealing with foreign governments.

The second reason that Senator Obama is in the race is, well, his race.

Sadly, no one can say it without being called a racist. Except, for Hillary! She gets away with comments that would undo your average white guy. She as much as told Senator Obama that if he knew his place, he would agree to be her running mate.

Now, I realise that Hillary! is married to the first black President of the United States, so perhaps she can make those comments. (e.g., Chris Rock can use the N-Word, Michael Richards can not.)

The bottom line, my friends, is that America has become a nation where the three least qualified candidates have become inevitable.

Because they make us feel good.

God help us.

*No, I am not talking about Arkansas.

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