Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Life In The Commonwealth of Massachusetts...

is interesting, really. It is the bluest of the Blue States, notwithstanding years of Republican governors. "What the hell," people said, "throw the Republicans a bone." It didn't rightly matter, because the legislature, also known as the General Court, was solidly Democrat (which is to say, solidly socialist, or worse). The nickname, "Taxachusetts" was fairly won, and we, the taxpayers, suffered under a heavy burden. Then, when the voters of Massachusetts voted for a tax rollback, the General Court said "Fuck off!" to the hoi polloi. And taxes, they will be going up, now that His Excellency, the Governor of Massachusetts, Deval Patrick, is in the corner office.

This fuckwit, whose campaign slogan was "Together We Can", has met the Peter Principle head on, and lost. He was incompetent in the Clinton Administration, hopeless at Coca Cola, worse at Ameriquest, and now, he brings his diversity hire brand of management to the Commonwealth, a state with a $27,000 million+ budget.

The man, lovingly known as Coupe Deval (due to his choice of a Cadillac as his company car), has been MIA mentally, and his efforts to regain the initiative have been sorely inadequate.

So, I began thinking, as I complain about the government of Massachusetts, that Delta is ready when I am.

I also noted three things:

First, the ubiquitous "Together We Can" bumper stickers have all gone. In fact, over the last week, I have seen more "Viva Bush" bumper stickers than Deval Patrick bumper stickers.

Second, the weather. If I hear one more idiot (are you listening, Mr. Former Vice President?) complain about the weather, I will scream. It is fucking New England. The weather is supposed to be cold and unpredictable. If you don't like it, pack a bag and get the hell out. We don't need less global warming, we need more global warming. I want Boston to be a sub-tropical climate. Think Miami, with winding streets, a great history, and Canadian women in bikinis. And the polar ice caps? Fuck 'em. I live on a hill, so I will finally get that waterfront property I have wanted.

Finally, as I was driving to an appointment, and I stopped right at the crosswalk, I was accosted by a crazy old woman, crossing (with impunity) against the light, ten feet out of the crosswalk, screaming that I almost hit her. I rolled down the window, and politely said, "Try the crosswalk next time, honey." Fucking pedestrians. As I have noted in the past, we should all get one free one.

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