Wednesday, October 03, 2012


The Lifeguard is here, with much-anticipated commentary on the much-anticipated Presidential Debate.  (By “here,” The Lifeguard means “here” on the Lifeguard Stand.

  • Six 15-minute segments.  One segment for every beer in a six-pack.
  • Who dressed President Obama?  Why in the name of all that is holy did Barack Hussein Obama, who remains firmly committed to being not a Muslim, wear a blue tie and a blue suit against a blue background?
  • Governor Romney has magnificent hair, a reasonable tie, and a firm handle on the facts.  His hands are moving too much, however.  The Lifeguard feels like he is watching a WASP channeling a Sicilian olive grower.
  • Governor Romney, in the first segment, is on fire.  (He still seems very uncomfortable in his own skin, but he is on fire.)
  • President Obama has the solution to the troubles in America:  Re-elect Bill Clinton.
  • Governor Romney has talked about all manner of tax increases, tax rates, and tax revenues.  Why, however, is Romney not talking about the tax increases that spin off the Affordable Care Act?
  • Jim Lehrer looks like he needs a death panel. 
  • Jim Lehrer aghast that Governor Romney wants to cut funding to PBS, if he is elected to the presidency.  His eyes got mighty wide.
  • BHO, talking about why it wasn’t his fault that there is a $16 trillion deficit, mentions “aircrafts” that Congress got, but that the military didn’t want.  That’s like saying that you’re worried about the Viet Congs.
  • If BHO is so worried about tax policy, then why doesn’t he push for a reduction in the corporate taxation rate to something a little more reasonable, like 20%.  After all, Ronald Reagan was right when he said, “Corporations don’t pay taxes.”
  • Romney beats the shit out of BHO on the issue of so-called Green Energy jobs.  (You know, the jobs that he created at Solyndra.)
  • This is like watching a boxing match, where the aging heavyweight gets schooled by the young challenger.  Sort of like watching Rocky, where everyone is wearing a suit.
  • This is so boring.
  • According to President Obama, private insurance needs to, “…make a profit.”  Finally, he mentions the need for private companies to “make a profit.”
  • Repeal Dodd-Frank!
  • Romney, on RomneyCare.  He’s got a better grasp on things than Obama does on ObamaCare.
  • The Lifeguard fell asleep for about 30 minutes.  Thank you, Tito.
  • The Lifeguard is surprised that the Secret Service didn’t tackle Governor Romney, because he was killing the president.
  • This was like watching Rocky Balboa beat the shit out of Clubber Lang in Rocky III.
  • MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow seems to give Romney the win.  A sign of the apocalypse?
  • Why don’t people understand that keeping the status quo, vis a vis the Bush Tax Cuts, is not a tax increase?  And we let these people vote?  Fuckwits.
  • If the Presidential Debate Commission wanted someone from PBS to moderate tonight, they should have gotten Big Bird.

That’s all for now, kids.

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