Saturday, April 05, 2008

Como Esta, Bitches!

...You'd Still Be In Your Own Third World Hell-Hole Once You Swam Across The Rio Grande!

The fine Svenskas who make Absolut Vodka are running the above advertisement south of the border. Fine, because it is edgy, as are many Absolut ads.

I just wonder how many Mexicans would buy vodka from the Country of Sweden if, in that Absolut world, running, jumping and swimming wouldn't get them out of Mexico.

And, I wonder how many Americans are going to drink Absolut from this day forward.

Truly, the claim that the United States stole Alta California from Mexico is Bravo Sierra. After its independence from Spain, the fledgling government of Mexico was bankrupt, corrupt, and unable to govern such an expansive area. In order to try to stabilise the lawless northern territories, a few hundred American families were allowed to settle what is now known as Texas.

Subsequent immigration created an English-speaking majority in Texas, and soon, the Republic of Texas was formed, in 1836. After losses at the Alamo (remember it, damnit!) and Goliad, the Texans were on their heels. However, at the battle of San Jacinto, the Texans captured the Mexican General Santa Anna, and ransomed him at the cost of the Treaties of Velasco.

Then, there was some political wrangling, the Mexican-American War (which we won), and some more political wrangling. Contemporaneously, the corrupt Mexican government remained corrupt.

The end result: Mexico believes we stole their land and tarnished their honour. That is why, apparently, hundreds (or thousands) of Mexican criminals cross the northern border every day. And, for those of you who are now getting pissy at the pronouncement that Mexican criminals are crossing the border, remember that by virtue of their illegal crossing, they are breaking the law. Our law.

But, I digress....

3 comments:

Cartooniste said...

If people don't drink Absolut, it should be because it's a crap vodka, not because of their edgy advertising.

People who know drink Stoli.

But while we're enjoying the view from our high horse, it's worth mentioning that there are plenty of "Mexican" people who were living in that lawless Mexican territory when those nice, slaveholding white Ameerican families were allowed to settle over there. Who were still living there during what you so smoothly refer to as "political wrangling" but which I prefer to call by its historical name, i.e. the Civil War. And who then, within a matter of half a generation, were suddenly living in the United States. The border, in effect, crossed them. It's not thievery, per se, but it's myopic to assume that all people down there are down there illegally. The map refers to cultural affinity, my friend, and if you think Texas isn't Mexican, then tu es muy loco.

The Lifeguard said...

I agree. It is a crap vodka. Right up there with Mr. Boston, Poland Spring, and Relska.

That is why I don't drink it. Ever. (Unless I am trying to get a 19 year old co-ed drunk and out of her wet clothes. For some reason, 19 year old co-eds like Absolut.)

Stoli is nice. So is Ketel One, Tito's, and Grey Goose. But, I digress.

Yes, it was the Civil War (or, the War of Northern Aggression). I used "political wrangling" because I was tired, and I had this nasty paper cut on my middle finger. And, it hurt like a bastard to type, so I just "yada-yada-yadaed" over about 30 years of history.

I get the whole cultural affinity thing, too. I just looked at the map and the line, from "Anchorman" popped into my head.

I also get this: Even if Mexico had Alta California and Texas as their Northern Provinces, I would wager a bottle of Stoli that those same Mexicans that are illegally immigrating today would still be immigrating...illegally.

Just a thought.

Anonymous said...

for the record, when i was a 19 yr old coed, all i drank was mt gay. as a 20 yr old coed, well that's another whole story...(but feel free to pass the gray goose..)