Sunday, July 29, 2007


Tempest In A B-Cup...

Senator Hillary Clinton (Victim-NY) recently appeared on the Senate floor wearing a rose-coloured blazer over a black top; and, we saw Cleveland. There it was, on your TV screen. Hillary's cleavage. You had to look--sort of like looking at a car accident, or the ball going through Buckner's legs, or Bucky Fucking Dent's home run back in '78--because it was both horrible and titillating, all at the same time.

And now, Hillary--who chose the clothes--is claiming that she is a victim of the male world. The world that judges a woman based upon her clothes, her looks, and her physical appearance. The former First Lady, the junior senator from New York, and the front-runner in the Democrat Party's presidential field is a victim because people noticed that she might, in fact, be a woman.

So, the Hillary campaign sends out a plea for money because, as Senior Clinton adviser, Ann Lewis noted, women were "insulted."

The fund-raising letter sent by Lewis begins:

"Can you believe that The Washington Post wrote a 746-word article on Hillary's cleavage? ..... I've seen some off-topic press coverage--but talking about body parts? That is grossly inappropriate.

"Frankly, focusing on women's bodies instead of their ideas is insulting. It's insulting to every women who has ever tried to be taken seriously in a business meeting. It's insulting to our daughters--and our sons--who are constantly pressured by the media to grow up too fast."

Except, after years of hiding her femininity, Senator Clinton chose clothes that were somewhat revealing. Clothes that drew every one's attention to her body. Clothes that showed us something that we had hoped never to see. So, of course people noticed. It was news-worthy, and timely, especially in light of all of the press that her husband, the former President, has been doing lately.

"Hillary is a woman."

"Hillary is a real lady."

Everything that Hillary does focuses on her sex. Her slogan in the You-Tube Debate was something to the effect that "...sometimes the best man for a job is a woman."

So, perhaps she, and her sex-baiting advisers, should shut the fuck up. Rather than counting on the "Boob Factor" (voters who have them, or are them) for her candidacy, perhaps she should show the world that she is a thoughtful politician, not a whore for every weird constituency or victim of the slightest insult.

If she is to be President of the United States, she needs to be driven by her oath of office, the Constitution, and America; not her pollsters, the Hollywood elite, and the Blue States.

Oh, and don't ever wear that again, Mrs. Clinton. Not without a little...um...enhancement. As an aside, I don't like looking at the Billy Buck footage, either.

Ed. Note: Due to various obscenity laws, and the bounds of decency, The Lifeguard has chosen not to publish, or link to, or ever look at again the footage of Senator Clinton's cleavage.

5 comments:

Rob said...

Remember when "Rolling Stone" ran the picture of Al Gore on the cover, with the enhancement (which made Al look like he was packing heat)? Remember all of the press coverage that got? And, remember how no one gave a shit?

Oh, and when are people going to get insulted by Hillary's racism and condescending tone?

Wait, never.

Anonymous said...

wow, tell me how you really feel chief!

Cartooniste said...

Duuuuuuuude. The article that you mention says that "Showing cleavage is a request to be engaged in a particular way."
Actually, it's not. Sometimes it is just the byproduct of a neckline, or bad lighting in the fitting room. It's not newsworthy. The attention given to this shows that women still cannot appear as full people in the public arena- they cannot be powerful, intelligent, serious, and sexual all at the same time. And men can. Where are the articles about Obama's cute butt (does he have a cute butt? Who knows? No articles!). Say what you will about her as a politician - and I am more of an Obama feminist than anything else - but it's inappropriate and trivializing to comment on a public figure's body.

Rob said...

I agree that, on one level, comment on cleavage is inappropriate. But, we have had comments on Gore's package (Rolling Stone's cover spawned all sorts of comment), Gore's attire (dressing the part of the Alpha Dog), Edwards and his hair, Romney and his hair and all-American good looks, and Obama and his sweet ass. Actually, no comments about Obama's ass.

We are judged by how we dress and how we look. Hillary is a woman, yet she does everything she can to distract us from her womanhood. Then, when the former president starts talking about what a lady she is, she busts (no pun intended) out the rose-coloured jacket over the black blouse. Then, when people comment, she gets (presumably) insulted, then sends out a fund-raising letter, saying, "Hey, ladies, give me money so that I can destroy the glass ceiling that keeps you all down."

I am not saying that she deserves to be ravaged because she showed some cleavage. I am saying that it is, on one level, newsworthy (in much the same way it would be newsworthy is Casto showed up in cargo shorts and an Abercrombie & Fitch T-Shirt). We never see the feminine side of Hillary, and bam! there it is. Sort of.

But, she can not be woman enough to accept the press (and the compliment), she has to try to use it for fund-raising.

I think that this is the reason that Hillary is having problems with the distaff voters. Many see her as an automaton. As a manipulator. As insincere.

Bottom line, Hillary has, in times of trouble, always resorted (first) to her sexuality and then (second) played the victim.

Rob said...

And for the record, women can be the full package--powerful, beautiful, sensuous, intelligent, sexual, serious. Segolene Royal almost became the President of France (and she is hot). Tzipi Livni is the second most powerful politician in Israel and she is attractive. Christine Todd Whitman and Jennifer Granholm (of NJ and MI, respectively) are the real deal.

They, I believe, had the confidence to be the real deal. The complete package.

I think, honestly, that Hillary is too insecure to be the complete package...or, she thinks that if she demonstrates her security, she will not get votes.

You know, because women hate strong, smart, confident, attractive, sexy women.

Reminds me of a comedienne who, once, asked "[w]hy men think that attractive men are gay. Women don't think attractive women are gay. They know that they are bitches."