Friday, July 06, 2007

Retardo DaVinci

Albert Arnold Gore, III, a/k/a Retardo DaVinci, was arrested for speeding along the San Diego Freeway, at 0215 HRS, on July 4th. He was driving his blue Toyota Prius at a cool hundred. When the CHiPs approached the car, they smelled marijuana and searched the vehicle. In so doing, they found less than an ounce of pot...and a pharmacy.

AlGore the Younger asked if they "...knew who he was."

Said one of the Highway Patrolmen, "What the fuck?!? Who knew a Prius could go that fast, without going downhill, without a tailwind."

Said another, "He was saving the environment. After all, the pot was organically grown."

Said yet another, "What a turd."

Former Vice President, AlGore the Older, said that, "The show must go on."

So, three things will happen:

First, we get a stupid-ass rock concert on Saturday, 07.07.07. A chance for a bunch of hypocritical twats to talk about how we are destroying the environment, before getting into their stretch HUMMERS and flying off on their G.Vs.

Second, we get (or will very soon) comparisons to how President Bush was arrested for the same sort of thing; therefore, no harm, no foul.

Finally, we get to see the Gore family everywhere we turn, as we hear about poor AlGore the Younger, and how his concern for global climate change made him turn to drugs and speeding. Urgh!

As someone noted, maybe AlGore the Older needs to stop trying to give the world a hug, and give one to his son.


Kate said...

what a tool! anyone who pulls the "do you know who I am" line should be taken out back and beaten with a tight, wet riding crop.
actually, he's not cute enough for the crop. let's make it a length of garden hose instead.

Rob said...

I appear to have been wrong about two of my predictions. No comparisons to GWB, so far. And, I have hardly seen anything about the Gore family.

Maybe the press was too tied up with Live Earth.

Maybe they just don't give a shit.

Talk about the sons paying for the sins of the father.

Now, where is that garden hose...

Don said...

And, Retardo DaVinci eats at Arby's...