I am a lawyer, and I hate most with the burning fury of a thousand suns. The loathing comes from watching lawyers when they are unprepared. I mean, you'd think that for all of the money that lawyers (are supposed to) make, they'd read the file, understand that a knee injury and a back injury are two different things, and that sometimes, it's best to just shut the hell up. When to shut up is one of the practical things about practicing that is not taught in law school, and this might come from the fact that law school professors are so smart, so intelligent, that they just can not imagine that endless talking can sink the client like the Titanic.

Today, I was in court for a hearing behind just such an ill-prepared lawyer, who talked for about five minutes about the Plaintiff's epidural injections, then stopped and said, "Oh, that was yesterday." That was YESTERDAY? Okay, now I may not be the busiest man in the world. I have time to publish a BLAWG, and I still have NEVER confused one case with another, especially when I had a stack of papers in front of me (N.B., they are called "FILES").

The beauty of the law, without too many exceptions, is that there are not a lot of surprises. You talk to the client, you interview witnesses, you conduct discovery, then you READ IT. Absent a lie here or there, you know what is coming, or you should. There is, plain and simple, no reason to be so far off of the mark. The surprise witnesses of Perry Mason days are just not often seen, or if they are, without the drama.

I would encourage all prospective law students, actual law students, and people who are lawyers to think about this. And to watch this space!

Here, you will learn about stupid things that lawyers and parties say, get movie reviews, and my favorite lawyer jokes. Because hey, if you can't laugh at yourself, then you are...a dope.