Tuesday, September 11, 2012

What A Country
The other day, The Lifeguard was talking to his friend, J.  It seemed that reports of his demise had been greatly exaggerated; and, that he had taken up yoga as part of a drive to improve his flexibility and energy levels.

When The Lifeguard asked him why, he noted, with a wry smile, that he had been shacked up with a porn star, and that the steady diet of Viagra and Vitamin E had taken a toll on his health.

"My yoga instructor has me bending over backwards," J said.  "It's like I've found the Fountain...of Middle Age."  

"But," said J, "it gets old."

Life with a porn star can take it's toll, as The Lifeguard well knows.  One can only endure so much, and as The Lifeguard has often noted, "Show me a porn star, and The Lifeguard will show you a guy who is tired of fucking her.  And her friends.  (Often, all at the same time.)"

There is, seemingly, no downside to dating a porn star; however, it gets tiresome when your friends say, "Oooh!  I loved her work in Doing Miss Daisy."       No, a relationship is more than just threesomes, fake tits, and public fornication.  It requires conversation, mutual respect, and a connection with the other person.  (Although, the threesomes, fake tits, and public fornication don't hurt.)

So, The Lifeguard asked J what happened to the porn star.

"She ran off with my yoga instructor."

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