Friday, September 07, 2012

#DNC2012 Redux

"The Lifeguard Is Huge!"
Former Michigan governor, Jennifer Granholm had the kind of meltdown that General Motors and Chrysler had.  We can only hope that America doesn't have to bail her out, too.

She did, however, get one thing right.  The Lifeguard is huge.


  • Why didn't the DNC get former North Carolina senator John Edwards to channel Vice President Biden's father?  Then, we could have gotten to the bottom of the whole respect thing.
  • By the way, where was John Edwards?  Wasn't he a vice presidential candidate?
  • "SLUTS VOTE" is the best-selling button from the convention.  Huh?
  • Vice President Biden fired up the crowd, and got people salivating for Himself.  Sadly, President Obama was unable to follow Biden's opener.
  • The Lifeguard thinks that President Barack Hussein Obama (who is furiously non-Muslim) could have read the Akron, Ohio telephone book and gotten the delegates writhing in ecstasy.  
  • The Lifeguard thinks that Phil Mickelson might be more annoying than the Preezy of the Heezy.  God knows, he doesn't play as much golf as President Obama does.
  • Why didn't President Obama speak Wednesday night?  The Lifeguard thinks that the DNC should have saved President Clinton for last.  (After all, is speech is the only one that people are talking about.)
  • The unemployment numbers are about to be released.  The Lifeguard thinks that they will be good for President Obama.  (And, that they will be revised later.)  The unemployment rate falls to 8.1%.  On the face, good news for President Obama.  However, the labor participation rate is at the lowest point in a generation.  (U-6 at 14.7%)  96,000 new jobs created, but more than 350,000 people stopped looking.
  • The Lifeguard expects August unemployment rate revisions in about three months.  Say, about November 7th.
  • There isn't much to say about the president's acceptance speech.  Nothing, that is, that hasn't been said 127 times before.
  • The Lifeguard notes that recently, there has been a significant spike in readership in Afghanistan.  (Apparently, the country's one computer is getting a workout.)  The most common search?  "Hot Lesbians."
Lifeguard, out!

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