Thursday, December 29, 2011

A concept!

National Lampoon's Pyongyang Vacation
It was one of the great movies of the 1980s, remade with a 21st century twist.

The Kim family loads up the Wagon Queen Family Truckster, throws dad in the car-top carrier, and sets out for that amazing North Korean theme park, Warry Word.

Of course, there are a few changes, most notably that the role of Aunt Edna is played by Kim Jong Il.  (He loved movies.  He's already dead.)  The role of Cousin Eddie is played by Jimmy Carter (a natural, more than filling Randy Quaid's goofy-ass shoes), and Cousin Catherine, by Madeleine Albright.

The film, however, rings true in so many ways.  The Lifeguard has taken the liberty of listing the top five:

5)  When Rusty asks Clark why they don't fly, Clark says, "Because getting there is half the fun."  [Kim Jong Il hated flying.  He died on his train.]

4)  Audrey tells Cousin Vicki that she's not a big fan of farms or farming (after seeing her trophy for a prize hog, but before Vicki pulls out a box of marijuana).  [The North Korean people can't raise enough food to keep from starving, thanks to the bug-fuck craziness of their late Supreme Leader.  Also, starving North Koreans have been forced to eat grass to survive.]

3)  When Clark tries to cash a check, he is told that he can't because his credit cards have been canceled.  He then writes a check and steals the cash.  [North Korea does the same thing, but with the threat of nuclear weapons.]

2)  Clark is a goofy looking dude.  [Kim Jong Un is also a goofy looking dude.]

1)  Clark kills Aunt Edna's dog.  [Kim Jong Il killed hundreds of thousands of his people.  Maybe millions, if you count the ones that died of starvation because he so badly mismanaged the country.  And, Koreans eat dog.]

Now, all The Lifeguard has to do is get some money to develop the concept.  (Hey, he figures that the studios give Adam Sandler assloads of money to crank out shit, they could do the same for moi.)

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