Friday, February 11, 2011


She Died For The American Dream
The Lifeguard is not really sure where the tragedy lies in the story of Claudia Aderotimi, an English woman who traveled to the United States for ass implants.

Is the tragedy that Aderotimi was willing to let someone inject silicone into her ass so that she could get more action in the world of rap videos? Is it that she had the work done at a Hampton Inn near the Philadelphia airport? Is it that she had the work done previously? Or, is it that more than one person has died from this procedure?

Seriously, who in the crikey fuck lets some unlicenced shitweasel they found online get near their ass with a tube of silicone and a spatula? Who gives that person $1,800.00 to complete the work? Why is The Lifeguard asking this question?

Now, truth be told, The Lifeguard is an ass man. (When he walks down the street, people scream, "Hey, you're an ass, man!") But, The Lifeguard does not want a woman with a tube of Dow Corning's finest shoved up her ass. (Or, injected, for that matter.) And, frankly, if there are women out there who seek a big ass, The Lifeguard can help them out for far less money than Aderotimi paid. Similarly, The Lifeguard is prepared to help out the women who seek a firm, tight ass.

Oh, sure. It'll take time. It'll take money. But, The Lifeguard gets results.


Dawne said...

I think the workouts offered by the Lifeguard would most certainly be more fun than any stairmaster!

Anonymous said...

Any great stories about someone's ass you did love?