The Lifeguard Saves....

I Love NPR!

Those are words that 89% of the free world never thought they'd hear The Lifeguard say.

Listening the other day, I contemplated the present economic crisis here in the United States. (I was thinking globally, but thought that we should act locally.) The NPR reporter talked about the staggering job losses here in the U.S. (the worst unemployment since late 1983, not The Great Depression, as some would have us believe), followed by a story on a raid by armed immigration agents on Yamato Engine Specialists, where 28 workers were led away in handcuffs (then later released following outrage at the Obama Administration by the Hispanic community).

I hit upon the solution to the whole blessed problem: Deport every last illegal alien.

This will do several things.

First, it will clear out about twelve million (or so) criminals. The one way tickets back to Mexico (or some other Third World shithole) would provide a great stimulus to the airline industry. ("Delta: Deporting Every Last Troublesome Alien") We could let Aeromexico and Tikal Jets Airlines get in on the act, too. Hell, let Air Canada do some of the yeoman's work, too. (Those pesky Canadian frostbacks have got to go, as well.)

Second, it will open up scads of jobs. Sure, those jobs might be menial; but, as we are always being told, they are very important, hence the need for all of those illegal...um...undocumented workers. We could put--conservatively--eight million of the unemployed back to work straightaway. On top of that, we could hire some of those that are unemployed as border guards and enforcement agents.

Third, it will help education in the United States. Imagine how much more effectively the children could learn if their teachers didn't have to worry about non-English speakers in their classrooms. And, the over-burdened schools would get an immediate respite in the form fewer pupils per teacher (which is the goal, right?). No in-state college tuition to illegal aliens also equates to a significant savings. If the Government of Mexico wants Juan to go to Cal-Berkeley, let the Government of Mexico pay out-of-state tuition. (Or, let Juan pay it himself, after he applies for a student visa.)

Fourth, it would help the U.S. economy by keeping dollars at home. Immigrants send about $45 billion dollars to Latin America alone. Keeping that money here, in the United States, would be a boon to the economy. As an aside, forcing the productive members of, say, Mexican society to stay in Mexico might also be a boon to the Mexican economy. This amounts to as much as $1.2 billion to a state, like North Carolina, which loses that amount as a result of remittances abroad. Multiply that across the fifty states, and the benefit to the U.S. economy is staggering.

Finally, the savings in health care costs would be enormous. Illegal immigrants go to the emergency room for sniffles; and, those living on the border cross into America for pre-natal care (and to give birth to their anchor babies). Since an estimated 64% of the illegals in America are uninsured, this would result in a massive reduction in the strain on the hospitals in the country.

In the next installment, The Lifeguard will analyse the improvements that need to be made in the legal infrastructure to effect the changes discussed.

Hold on to your hats, it'll be a bumpy ride.