Sunday, February 04, 2007

Embarrassed To Be From Boston...

We Bostonians have penis envy, of sorts.

Boston may be the "Hub of the Universe"; but, it ain't New York, and that just drives us bugfuck crazy.

The Red Sox haven't won 26 World Championships, and the Celtics aren't as bad as the Knicks (though our coach is just as horrible as Isaiah Thomas). We don't have Donald Trump or any superlative restaurants. We have tunnels that kill people. We have Logan Airport, and traffic jams, and bums that shit all over the Common.

And that, my friends, is not why I am embarrassed.

It isn't our socialist governor (who said that taxes in Massachusetts are too low), and it is not the fact that we have two idiot senators. (Wait, New York has two idiot senators and a socialist governor. But I digress.)

It is, frankly, our mayor, Thomas Menino, a man who can not string together a coherent sentence. Who once said that something really "...fried his nose."

Our mayor, recently, held a press conference to discuss the promotional Lite Brites left around Boston (and nine other cities).

Now, I note that Boston was the only city that had a problem with the Lite Brites (New York tabloids headlined with stories about Boston's over-reaction to the toys), calling in the bomb squad to detonate these parcels.

I understand that in a post 9/11 world, we need to think twice about suspicious packages, but this was ridiculous. And then, for Mayor Menino to give an incomprehensible press conference, where he urged the public to " the police if they found any suspicious bombs." As opposed to the regular bombs that can be found at the TD BankNorth Boston Garden (i.e., Boston Celtics and Bruins).

I always thought that folks in Massachusetts were smart (wicked smart, even). Instead, Bostonians elect (and re-elect) a fuckwitted retard as mayor; and Bay Staters swoon over our Congressional Delegation, none of whom could make it in the dreaded private sector.

No wonder we feel like second-class citizens.

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