Nine Of The Reasons The Lifeguard Loves America
The Lifeguard just hopes that the reasons stay the fuck out of Egypt.
After a brief flirtation with a leader who isn't in the hip pocket of the Great Satan, millions of hygienically-challenged Egyptians took to the streets to demand that the leader that they wanted (and voted for) be removed by the military. Of course, street demonstrations in Egypt involve wailing crowds, shots being fired into the sky, and women being raped. Sort of like street demonstrations in Benghazi, Libya. (Except those demonstrations involve wailing crowds, burning consulates, shots being fired into the sky, and ambassadors being raped.)
Thank Christ that American soldiers (with women newly-introduced into combat roles) aren't being asked to go to Egypt to act as peace-keepers. (What with all of the touchy-feely crap going on here in America, The Lifeguard wonders if the new policy isn't to try to reason with our enemies...as we are doing with Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Russia, Syria, and every other shithole populated by Islamic extremists.)
The Lifeguard did have a point when he sat down; but, then the girls started getting antsy, and he lost his train of thought. (Then, the train went into a tunnel. (Nine different tunnels, to be precise.)
Anyway, Happy Birthday, America. (And, for all of you folks who don't like it here, The Lifeguard suggests that you take a trip to Tahir Square...a one-way trip to Tahir Square.)