Several weeks ago, I had an employee who was not faring well in the fast-paced environs of my plant. He was frequently tardy (as in, every day), and advised me that--two days into the job--that he was not feeling well, and that he needed to go to the doctor.
Now, truth be told, The Lifeguard has been around the block a few times, not to mention years in a workers' compensation practice, and he saw that there was something fishy about the complaints of varied aches and pains.
Lifeguard: "You need to work today, and this weekend. Go to the doctor tonight."
Employee: "I can't. My [body part] hurts."
Lifeguard: "Well, then, you can have the weekend off.'
Employee: "Really, boss? Thanks."
Lifeguard: "In fact, you can take the rest of this week off. And next week, too."
Employee: "Wow, you are the best."
Lifeguard: "Now, get the fuck out...and don't come back."
Imagine The Lifeguard's dismay when, upon arriving at work the following week, Employee was cocked, locked and ready to rock.
Lifeguard: "What are you doing here?"
Employee: "Here for work, boss."
Lifeguard: "But, I let you go last week."
Employee: "But, it's Christmas."
At which point, The Lifeguard completely lost his mind...and fired him again.