Tuesday, September 13, 2011


Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder
We have, as a society, gone absolutely bugfuck crazy.  Not only have women (and men) gone off the deep end in their quest to be beautiful, they have taken to do-it-yourself plastic surgery.  Recently, a woman died from injecting beef fat into her face, proving once more that truth is stranger than fiction.

The woman, a 63 year old hausfrau, had done the procedure previously, without incident.  (Well, her dogs did love to lick her face, but that is a completely different story.)  In fact, her age was more than likely the only reason that she is not a Darwin Awards nominee.  The fact that this woman has passed on her DNA is frightening, and there is no doubt in The Lifeguard's mind that her spawn will, one day, be on some sort of disability, living on the backs of the hard working men and women of America.  

There is also some lawyer, salivating, at the chance to sue America's pharmaceutical and cattle industries for producing such dangerous products as syringes and cows.  (Also a completely different story.)

The Lifeguard has no doubt that some day, Obamacare--in one of its later evolutions--will cover collagen and BoTox injections for all.

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