The Lifeguard Is Never Judgmental...
unless it's funny.
The Lifeguard started some rant about pierced, tattooed and pregnant teens. It was hilarious--and incredibly mean. Really, it was downright cruel.
Then, The Lifeguard decided that with all of the problems in the world, his two cents worth wouldn't amount to a hill of beans. The girls would still have ten holes in their ears, tongue, nipples and nether regions. They'd get tramp stamps on their backs, barbed wire tats on their arms, and dolphin tats on their legs. They'd still name their children DeShawn, Jaydon, Shaylaine, and Corianne. It would be all for naught.
Plus, I noticed a couple of girls making out while I was editing the piece, so I pretty much decided to dump it and watch them.
Believe me, it was much better (for The Lifeguard).