Tampa!

"The Lifeguard Is This Big."

The Lifeguard was called upon to work his magic in Tampa.  Well, not in Tampa, but from very far away.
  

Condoleezza Rice, speaking at the Republican National Convention, acknowledged The Lifeguard.  (She said something about taking him to play a round at Augusta National, since The Lifeguard has a "magnificent driver with a very stiff shaft.")

But, to be frank, The Lifeguard isn't going anywhere with a woman who appears on national television with lipstick on her teeth.