It's true...I am stupid.

The Lifeguard Walked Into The Courthouse...

and reported to the Jury Pool.

Court Officer: "Welcome. Your Juror Number is One."

Lifeguard: "You damn Skippy. I am the "one." I am...The Lifeguard, and I am now on duty."

There were ten trials on the docket; and, based upon personal experience, I was sure that at least one of them would go forward. I also knew, when I was handed the Juror Card with the number one on it, that I would be a venireman. I was pretty sure that the DA--any DA--would want me on that panel. She would need me on that panel.

And, I was equally confident that the defence attorney would want to burn a peremptory challenge to get rid of me.

But, she didn't. I was seated, and whiled away my day listening to an exciting trial in District Court.

The case, involving allegations of sex for money, was a source of intellectual stimulation (and a few laughs). I nearly spit when I learned that one of the customers...who had an apparent case of erectile dysfunction...was named, "Johnson."

The fact that the Defendant was a 59 year old grandmother added something to the ambiance.

I note, however, one disturbing development: The "johns" were released on their own recognizance, while the women providing the...um...service were arrested. It is not really all that fair, when you think about it.

But, as the saying goes, in the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls.

Oh, and the Defendant, after almost an hour of deliberation, was found guilty.