Communist News Network...

America-hating weenies rejoiced for twelve seconds when they saw the chyron on CNN. In the first ten seconds, they thought about surrendering Iraq to militant Islam, signing Kyoto, doubling welfare payments, banning handguns, giving away free abortions, banning long guns, banning tobacco and trans-fats, tax cuts for the poor, tax increases for the rich, normalising relations with North Korea and Iran, doubling welfare payments, adding a $2.00 per gallon tax on gasoline, limiting SUV use to Barbra Streisand and Al Gore, amnesty for undocumented workers, ceding military command authority to the United Nations, more free abortions, the Reverends Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton to have cabinet level posts (US Department of Shakedowns and Race-Baiting), and no Wal-Mart, a $20.00 per hour minumum wage, "In God We Trust" off of the currency, "One nation under God" out of the Pledge of Allegiance, Bill Clinton on the Supreme Court, making the Prius the official car of America, reparations to the blacks, RU-486 in schools, California to the Mexicans, Maine to the Canadians (okay, I can get behind that one), open borders, more embryos for stem cell research, no obesity, Muslim foot baths in Post Offices, prayers in school five times a day (Muslims only), sensitivity training for all Christians, taxes on churches, same-sex marriage, no hate speech, no talk radio (especially no Rush Limbaugh), having Hugo Chavez Day, no ham sandwiches, more diversity, less freedom of speech, and a free needle exchange.

Then, they realised that if Bush resigned...





















Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States, Dick Cheney!