Mitt And Hillary! Win Nevada Caucuses! McCain Wins South Carolina...

It is too damn bad that Nevada (and its 31 delegates) wasn't all that important a story (in the eyes of the Republican-loathing media). Hillary!, on the other hand, eked out a narrow victory over Senator B. Hussein Obama on a day that saw former President Bill complain of disenfranchisement (apparently, some of the illegal aliens who wanted to vote for Hillary! were turned away) in caucuses that were "not like an election."

In South Carolina, Senator McCain avoided his 2000 primary failure by winning the Palmetto State. While in the past, the South Carolina Primary might have been a bellwether of Southern voting trends, the last twenty years have seen a huge influx of Damn Yankees*. Also, Mitt Romney's Mormonism played less well than the Reverend Mike's Baptistness. Huckabee finished second, and Romney, third.

Next up, the Democrats molest the Palmetto State next Saturday, when the Obama camp hopes to capitalise on his blackness (in the same way that Reverend Jesse did in 1984); and, Hillary! hopes to capitalise on her white womanlyness (in the same way that former Senator John Edwards did in 2004). Of course, neither race nor sex matters. (Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.)

*A Yankee goes home after his vacation. A Damn Yankee buys a house and stays.