Speedos!
It sure has been a long time. I know you've missed The Lifeguard.
- Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) showing off the quality plastic surgery you get with ObamaCare. The last time The Lifeguard saw a face like that, it had a hook in its mouth.
- Without a doubt, Nancy Pelosi is one of the scariest looking women in the world. A woman desperately in need of a burqa.
- President Obama has done wonders for the Middle East. His ill-advised policies have caused tremendous instability in an already unstable region. That said, he has been able to sneak out to play some golf.
- Thank Christ Mark Zuckerberg's pro-amnesty group, FWD.US is launching a "Day of Action" for amnesty for illegal aliens. Obviously, Zuckerberg can't afford to pay the regular landscapers, and he needs some new ones that he can hire on the cheap.
- America really needs millions of people who can't speak English, who haven't got any skills (beyond cutting the grass...or, selling it), and who are infected with delightful Third World diseases, especially since there are fewer Americans in the workforce than at any time in recent memory.
- Fortunately, the Democrat party is working with the GOP to prevent the hiring of illegal aliens. Not! Seriously, The Lifeguard wonders what good will come of allowing millions of low-wage workers into the country. Workers who will depress wages, and who will likely stress school systems and emergency rooms in the regions where they settle. Already, school districts are seeing an increase in ELL (English Language Learners) who, more likely than not, will require special attention (to the detriment of English speakers).
- Since when does lowering standards to the level of the worst students benefit those who perform at a higher level? American education is already struggling to produce a better product. Instead of becoming Lexus, we are becoming General Motors. (Without the possibility of a recall.)
- The US soccer team advanced from the Group of Death to the Elimination Round. By losing. To Germany. Only in soccer can one win by losing. Another reason that The Lifeguard thinks that soccer is barely a sport.
- As Lady Thatcher reportedly said after Germany had beaten England in some major soccer game: "Don't worry. After all, twice in this century we beat them at their national game."
- Congratulations to Vanderbilt University on their win in the CWS. The Lifeguard was pulling for the Commodores.
That's enough for now.
Good night, y'all.
